You held me in your arms,
But not for very long.
I cried for your milk. I nursed until you bled.
I needed your love..your warmth.
You could barely stand it.
I was writhing and couldn’t know
Your thoughts. What was in your head.
I but an animal enough to know
What was not in your heart.
Later in my young life you would
From all that was maternal,
All that I needed for my child’s
Heart to beat..and my soul to eat.
To your room where you slept a
Narcotic sleep. So my child’s eyes
Did they begin to weep.
Past a nirvana of your own making,
I a child I couldn’t reach.
With slips of words about love,
So instead I reached inside myself,
|To write to you…For the pain you
Could not bear.
Finally you arrived, bleary eyed and
Bored. Even though in my child’s heart
It was always you that I adored.