Aug 132013

by Joseph Buehler


The successful magician has no friends.

Other magicians pretend to like him, but they really do not.

They envy and even hate him because of the special tricks he performs.

They don’t understand his many secrets. Audiences also dislike the

magician for the same reason. He is too slick for them and they feel like

a bunch of dummies who don’t understand what’s going on up there on

the mysterious lighted stage. “How did he do that?” they ask one another

in amazement.


The magician has no love life to speak of; he has never married (he is much

too selfish and self-centered for that life) and all of his love affairs end up

going nowhere. He is lonely most of the time out there on the road. He, of

course, has to travel from place to place to perform his routines and they

gradually become monotonous to him. His life is empty and he ends up hitting

the bottle (gin is his favorite) or taking drugs (he is addicted to crack cocaine;

he can’t afford the powdered stuff) just to face another dreary day. The only

thing the magician has going for him are his tricks (he enjoys the response of

the crowds), monotonous or not, and he is always looking for a new and at

least semi-spectacular trick (as long as it does not cost very much) to pull off

for the yokels in the next town.


You must understand that the magician is not, by any possible means, an escape

artist. He is not stupid enough to risk his precious neck for all of those know-noth-

ing hicks in the audience. An escape artist is a whole different breed of cat. An

escape artist looks down his long elegant nose with withering contempt at the poor

stupid common ordinary card trick slight of hand now you see it, now you don’t

magician. What a moron the magician is!

The successful escape artist has no friends. . .