Sep 142011

by Jess Provencio

it was hir first night as a boy
stiff new leather shoes creaked
suit just out of the bag
soft wool with shiny liner
tie knot that ze’d practiced so hard
now crafted on fine silk
starched collar stood tall
grandpa’s cuff links shiny in ze’s cuffs
hir steps changed gained confidence
shoulders grew straighter
walked into a lesbian bar to find a woman
woman’s features in disguise
curves bound into flatness
the lines of gender redefined
invited by an older woman to slip in early on a vip pass
ze sipped scotch on the rocks
tried to escape the new benefactor
find hir type without being sure of specifics
searched for a vague idea
that whispered foreign tongues in bed
dark shadows and curves
soft hands not found there
because you can’t make wives from american women
they are crazy and fun for a night
but not the kind that ze runs to
and ze can’t hide from the world in their arms
they are too wild to feel safe

so ze keeps on searching